Week Seventeen- Beautiful small things.....WooHoo!

Thought provoking Art by
Georgia O'Keeffe- Blue Flower

This was a paragraph in one of my morning meditation readings last week. 

Someone once asked the artist Georgia O'Keeffe why her paintings magnified the size of small objects - the petals on a flower - making them appear larger than life, and reduced the size of large objects - like mountains - making them smaller than life. "Everyone sees the big things," she said. "But these smaller things are so beautiful and people might not notice them if I didn't emphasize them."

Why do we spend so much time focusing on the big things in our lives?  Tapping our foot impatiently and waiting around for the proverbial ship to come in.  Then life will be really good. 

I’ve had lots of those big blessings.  A life of travel, adventure, my soulmate, big gifts, great jobs, plenty of attention.... I can tell you this, looking back over its course, those things were phenomenal and I am grateful.  But,  if you ask me what the most beautiful site I witnessed in the two months I traveled through Italy and France a few years ago, it wouldn’t be the Louvre, Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Casino at Monaco, or even the Vatican.  My most moving, memorable experience was in the small town of Assisi, Italy, standing before the tomb of St. Francis.  The energy of that humble saint reached out and touched my soul in a way I am incapable of describing and doing the experience justice.   So simple.  It imprinted my life. 

If you ask me what my most memorable moment was with my beloved soulmate.  It wouldn’t be the vacations to Mexico, Seattle,  or London.  It wouldn’t be the diamond tennis bracelet, nor the red convertible.  The picture that comes to mind?  Sitting sandwiched between his brother, on our bed, during the final months in his battle with colon cancer;  holding hands, and watching a DVD of The Titanic. I can still close my eyes and recall how his hand felt in mine, its warmth, and how the room vibrated with laughter, tears (mine - the guys didn’t cry) and palpable love.  So simple.  Just a thought away. 

I’ve felt so joyful this week.  Every day.... someone has made mine.  I didn’t win the HGTV dream home contest, nor book my cruise with Dr. Wayne Dyer and Company to Greece, Turkey, and Italy for October of this year:  and the Publishers Clearing House didn’t arrive on my door with balloons, confetti, and a ginormous check in the amount of 1 million dollars.  

Small beautiful things wafted into my days. 

 I took the two youngest girls to see The Lorax in 3D.  We bought our tickets, got our 3D glasses.  The little one grabbed a booster seat, and we settled in with our smuggled in snacks hiding out in my giant handbag.   This was the first time the little one had been to a 3D movie.  Her sister and I giggled.  Her tiny frame was elevated by the booster so she could see over the seat in front of her.  Her dark glasses nestled onto her button nose and she munched her popcorn.  She was so intent.  The previews ran, and then the movie started.  The first image leapt out at the audience Real 3D fashion.  Her reaction was priceless.  She pressed her small body back against the seat trying to avoid a collision with visions reaching out at her,  and in a five year old baritone voice  (I know, I didn’t know a five year old possessed baritone vocal chords either) she said, “Whoa”  Priceless. 

Of all places to uncover  more priceless treasures, mine appeared on Facebook in the form of few posts from my employer and a few friends.  

Apparently, Wednesday was Administrative Professionals Day.  A fabulous gift certificate to a local restaurant was a surprise, but an even greater shock, was to discover my bright shiny face, on my employer’s page wishing me a Happy Day.     I had no idea, until I began to get emails and "likes".  It was wonderful and that day,  I felt like if God had a refrigerator, my picture would be on it!  Instead my employer had a Facebook page and my picture was on it! 

Thursday morning, a very sweet friend, with a wonderful sense of humor,  left the most awesome video clip on my Facebook wall.  He makes me laugh every time I see him.   His message read, “I can totally see you doing this!! If I hook up some music, r u game?”  You can access the clip here:  

http://www.godvine.com/Dance-Like-Nobody-s-Watching-a-One-Girl-Flash-Mob-at-the-Mall-1422.html

What a delight.  The best part, he could see me doing that.  My sense of adventure and joy in  life must be apparent again.  WooHoo!  The small, beautiful thing was the reminder, we can all spread a whole heck of a lot of joy, anywhere at any time.  

Georgia O'Keeffe's Pink Moon
 Blue Lines

My most poignant,  beautiful moment of the week arrived last evening via Facebook again.  There it is again.... FACEBOOK.  I may have to rethink my negative attitude about the pretense of real human connection Facebook falsely tries to offer up. (Nahhhh....)  But,  beautiful things can show up in the most bizarre of places and  even technology can’t diminish them.   My little soul sister, almost thirty years my junior, announced the opening of her dream come true.  She has put herself out there, worked hard and is opening her own Art/Education/Entertainment venue in Chicago.  Her announcement was followed by the statement,  “I am doing what I know I want to do, for the rest of my life.” Big happy tears of joy flowed for her.  Now, that IS one of those “Mountain Moments” in her life!  But, this spectacular, courageous young  woman didn’t chose to hoard the exhiliration of the mountain top all to herself.  She took out her paint brush and magnified a small blog post I had written a few weeks ago.  Posted next to it was this: Not only has this woman inspired me to share myself, she has also taught me that loving myself is the only way to help others. This blog post says it all...Thank you Rebecca Mahoney,  you are one talented writer!

We all want those expansive,  Grand Canyon moments;  big excitement, passion, huge successes and can spend a lifetime in pursuit of those things we think we need to be  happy;  waiting for a specific joy.   The Alps are breathtaking, but you know what, so is the edelweiss scattered all around the nadir of that summit. 

What a wonderful life when we slip on those  3D glasses, magnifying the simple gifts and  live in a state of “Whoa” for all the beautiful small moments that are really the essence on the big screen of our lives. 

Woohoo to mindful emphasis on so many of life’s lovely little details.  

Week Sixteen - WooHoo to joyful hello’s, sunny goodbye’s and snack mansions...

Avid story lover

Friday was my youngest granddaughter’s 5th birthday.  I was there at her birth, as well as the older two. From the moment all of them cried their first breath, they’ve taken mine away.   This little one also happened to be born on my father’s birthday, April 20th, four years after his death.  I can’t imagine how difficult it was for him to part with her in heaven, sharing her with us and the world, but I thank him, and God every day.  Dad knew we all needed her big, bright smile, happy disposition, and even temperament.  She makes us all want to be better people; from her big sisters, to her parents and grandparents.  She's the essence of fresh air kissing my soul, her innocence and joy wafts over my often cynical, world weary spirit, and infuses it with a new way of looking at life.  The sisters are constantly holding, hugging and kissing her, even now, five years later.  She simply makes a difference, at the tender age of five.  

Summer Bikini

Taking my breath away really doesn’t do justice to the impact this little girl has had on my life.  She takes nothing and gives everything back, a sort of spiritual mouth-to-mouth, almost every time I’m around her.  Her joy teaches me how to live in the moment and savor those things that I could easily take for granted.....  A beautiful sunny day,  friends, holding hands, the delight in catching a glimpse of a loved one, and special treats.  

I picked her up from preschool Thursday so mommy could go Birthday shopping for her.  Little Dora back-pack on her shoulders, her face lit into a brilliant smile when she saw me.  She ran towards me, screeching my name in delight as she tackled my legs with love and raw joy.  As we walked out of the school, holding hands, she smiled and waved a cheerful goodbye to each one of her tiny classmates.  “See you tomorrow, Grace” she yelled.  “Bye, Bye, Parker.  See ya later,” she singsonged to another.  “It’s so pretty today, Mimi, she said.  We went outside for recess.  We ran, and laughed and played tag. It was a great day.” 

Gift from middle sister

A love of all things Disney

I told her I had to stop and get gas, before we headed out to meet her mommy, and then Mimi had to go to work.  She asked if she could get a snack first.   I promised to buy her one at the Motomart.  After filling the tank, and taking her by the hand into the convenience store, I felt kind of guilty buying my precious little girl a cheap snack at the gas station.  I shouldn’t have.  She stopped, looked around in awe, up and down aisles of chips, snack food and candy. She cruised slowly down each one, pointing out the Skittles, Cheez-Its, Hostess Donuts, and Trail-Mix.  Eyes wide with delight, she said, “Mimi, this is a snack mansion!”  Two young, kind of tough looking guys, overheard her and smiled a tender smile that I am sure hasn’t found its way on their faces in quite some time.  A lady, at the register whispered, “How precious.”  She was oblivious to the attention and the impact she had on those in the store.  I’m sure none of them will ever be able to walk into a Motomart without thinking, “Snack Mansion.” 

Wishes come true

Lesson for this week. Look for some beauty in every day.  Greet everyone joyfully.  Leave your friends with kind words.  Recognize every word and action can impact even a stranger in the best of ways.  Most of all, turn mundane tasks into an adventure.  WOOHOO!  You just might find your own “snack mansions” in the most unlikely places! 

Week Fifteen - It’s not about me.... WooHoo!

Bad things happen to good people.  I know.  I’m good people and some bad things have happened. I also know,  in this lifetime I’ve reigned down my own share of bad behavior. The last several decades, I have been mostly on my “better” behavior.  And, yet, challenges abound which tend to make me occasionally question if morality, integrity and kindness are really the key to a rich life. Sometimes it seems the most dishonorable, shallow people appear to have such great lives!   Maybe it IS all just Karma and I was a real pistol in my previous life.   Some of those lines from the Indigo Girls song of the 90’s, Galileo, resonate with me.    

And then you had to bring up reincarnation

Over a couple of beers the other night

And now I'm serving time for mistakes

Made by another in another lifetime

I offer thanks to those before me

That's all I've got to say

'Cause maybe you squandered big bucks in your lifetime

Now I have to pay

But then again it feels like some sort of inspiration

To let the next life off the hook

But she'll say, "Look what I had to overcome from my last life

I think, I'll write a book"

How long am I gonna have to pay?

I have been on a spiritual path for the past 25 years.  Most of that time I've recognized because of my connection to something larger than me,  there is more to life than what I have, what I do, and what other people think of me.  I see now, that was just superficially skimming the surface.  The last 3-4 years, I stopped dabbling and put on my night goggles venturing into a much denser forest of spiritual exploration.  I’ve found, sometimes, when we do that, push through into more rugged terrain, the challenges become more intense, kind of like athletic training.  WooHoo, you conquered those hurdles, now its time to move on to perfecting your high jump. My high jump appears to be “forgiveness opportunities”.   I’m discovering a big part of a successful, contented life is clearing any, and all, resentment out of the way, on an ongoing basis.  There can’t be any residual jealousy, anger, or judgement or it clearly clogs up this spiritual vessel.  

Almost every day seems to bring a forgiveness opportunity for me.  Inevitably, something will arise that pushes a button or reminds me of the past.   Or, people just act like the shit heads we all can be sometimes, and hurt my feelings.  It triggers old tapes, or a memory, I take it personal, and there I go, off and sprinting, missing the high jump bar by yards.  Why me?  Why did they do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? Me.. me... me.... Practicing for my solo, which leaves me feeling even more solo.  The resentment eats me up inside, while I pretend and smile on the outside. I try changing the thought, but that doesn't always propel me over the bar. 

A few months ago, I was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on PBS promoting his new book, Wishes Fulfilled.  So much of what he had to say resonated with me.  I liked the optimism of his premise;  we are all capable of creating our own dreams come true. Initially it sounded like a lot of the Law of Attraction buzz of a few years ago.  It’s not that I don’t believe in some version of the Law of Attraction, but attracting more money, fame,  a mega-yacht in Monaco, or other self-serving gifts into our lives isn’t really what I think it’s about.   On the other hand, I could buy into Dr. Dyer’s belief that we attract things we desire, when they are aligned with our  higher purpose.  That made more sense to me.  Like drawing the gifts of the spirit, peace, love, your dream job and ensuing prosperity, rather than winning the lottery. What I also liked, he detailed the process to do that, with clear instructions to open the door of possibility and achieving your hearts desire. 

 A few weeks later, I bought the book. When I read it, some of the steps he outlined, I’ve been doing for years;  since I was a child even.  I was the consummate daydreamer. It was probably an escape for me, just like reading, but I did envision my great life. I learned how to “act as if” what I wanted had come to pass - self-confidence, new jobs, even healing.  And, optimism has always been a part of my make-up.  So, what's the deal?  It must be this Karma thing, I thought. 

Then he mentioned the Berlin walls we construct that block us from our Source and our Highest Self and ultimately, our wishes and dreams.  I froze in recognition, and it stopped my heart for a milli-second.  He said, “When we see and cast judgement on another one of God’s children, it overshadows all of our spiritual visualizations and intentions. We must eliminate habits of criticizing, condemning and judging, anyone.   You must remember, every single one of God’s children are just doing what they know how to do.   Here comes the part, that has changed everything for me.  “IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. THAT'S THEIR STUFF.  IT’S ABOUT THEM AND WHAT THEY NEED TO LEARN AND EXPERIENCE ON THEIR JOURNEY.”

Huh? It’s not about me!  It’s not about what I did or didn’t do, who I am, how I failed, that I was too much... or not enough.  Their punishment, rejection,  abandonment, or the silent treatment isn’t really about me? What?  It’s not even about my Karma.  It’s THEIR KARMA ultimately. THEIR LESSONS.  THEIR JOURNEY.  How freeing is that?  It leaves no room for resentment or dwelling in slight and hurts.  It’s not about me, if someone doesn’t want to be my friend, lover, employer, confidante, or is having a bad day, week, or life.  It’s about THEIR path and what they need to work out.  


Amazingly, everytime one of these little opportunities to cop an attitude pops up, I find myself repeating...."IT'S NOT PERSONAL.  IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.  Once, I recognize that it  frees my spirit up to send them love instead of judgement and criticism.  Now, it may call for loving kindness extended from a distance, to protect my own boundaries, values, and dreams.  And sometimes, that's what I have to do. It only matters that my response is kind and I don't take ownership of their stuff.   It IS about them and where they are at.....


And that, is the process that follows every real or imagined injury to my ego. 

I haven't done this perfectly and can slip into my old “you hurt me”, “you were unkind” “you ignored” or whatever perceived slight I imagine, mode. But, that’s why they call  this work, spiritual PRACTICE.  I am discovering, when I do practice it, there are no blocks to the miracles that enter my life. 

 Free tickets, handed to us while waiting in line to buy tickets at the box office the other night, out of the blue!  Was it Karma, or was there just room for miracles and Wishes Fulfilled?  

My Karma  seems to be shifting.  Think I’ll write a book!  WOOHOO! 

WooHoo for the Magic that is Easter...

I love this season... The freshness, smells, sounds and light of Springtime and Easter always envelope me in a delicate, pastel, gossamer of possibility.  The rose colored glasses get pulled out of summer storage, and life is brighter.  Really, the entire Lenten season has always been a meaningful time for me.  It’s a great opportunity to focus on some discipline,  take the time to go within, and develop a better understanding of who we are, and what our role is in this grand production called life. For those of us who are Christians, its a time of gratitude, hope, and rebirth. Some years, I’ve worked really hard at putting forth a little effort in a faith journey for Lent, and the by-product has been some amazing, magical moments. 

What I am not good at is this Lenten sacrifice stuff.  I haven’t been able to give up much of anything I love or have grown attached to.  Not for long.   Discipline isn’t one of my strengths.  The serpent almost always wins out in my case, making the cheese I swore off, look like the last supper to me.  I can withstand a a day or two of deprivation, then I am sneaking a smattering of grated cheese onto my salads, or melting it on my sandwich, because, well, after all, it's just one of the ingrediants in the meal!  I can justify anything to get my own way and generally make you believe it too.  There is this latent used car saleswoman lying beneath!  When I'm selling myself up the river, justifying away, that's  caused me some heartbreak over the years, but it seems to be one of the ways I learn my lessons too. I am learning...justifying doesn’t change facts, and my way isn’t always the best way. 

I have clearly learned, giving up tangible items for Lent isn’t really a productive way for me to grow my spiritual life.   Here’s how that conversation plays out between the serpent and the saint that lives inside my head. 

Me:  It’s just cheese!  It’s not like I’m a major oil company and have given up on my Lenten commitment to stop ripping off the consumer.   

My guardian angel:  It’s not about the cheese, Becky.  On a more practical level, it might be about developing new, healthier habits. Mostly, its the sacrifice and concentration in giving up something to make space for enlightenment and truth to enter.  

Me:   Cheese doesn’t take up much space. So, burning the cheese at the altar is going to make a difference, and world peace will ensue? 

My guardian angel:  Sigh.... I give up.  You’re clueless. We’ll try this again next year.

I think something actually did resonate a few years back,  and the idea of creating healthy new habits made sense. Especially if they were positive, spiritual practices.  Like not judging others.  I gave that up one year and my compassion barometer shot through the roof.  At least for a time.  Practice doesn’t make perfect.  Practice is a way of life.  One year I committed to reading Jim Bishop’s book, The Day Christ Died, during Lent.  My Easter that year was filled with a clearer meaning, admiration, and gratitude in walking through Christ’s last week on this earth.  Lots of great messages.  This year I am trying to stop the negative self-talk.  When I catch myself saying things like, "you idiot", or, "why aren’t you doing better", I bite my tongue.  There’s been a double benefit to making this my Lenten commitment this year.  Early on, my tongue got so sore from biting it when I would start spewing venom onto myself, it was hard to eat and I lost a few pounds!  The better byproduct is, this lady doesn’t criticize herself nearly as much anymore.  I think, if I wouldn’t say it to my own daughter or granddaughters, then I shouldn’t be saying it to, or about me.  These kinds of Lenten challenges seem to serve me better these days than giving up pop, chocolate, or old reruns of Sex in the City. 

It happens every year.  I get Easter blessings.  Those  “coincidences” and serendipities,  some years more profound than others, likely gifts from that poor guardian angel of mine who gave up on trying to get me to “cold turkey” the cheese for six weeks.  I can recall a few big, unbelievable God shots, that would be hard for anyone not to feel the message of Easter. One from 25 years ago.  A Mega Church’s Associate Minister, from the West Coast, called to check in...ON EASTER SUNDAY.... because I was having a rough year, the YEAR before.  I had called their crisis line in the middle of a dark night of the soul and he prayed with me then..... A year later, a healthier me, on the path to recovery, was able to tell him, on EASTER SUNDAY, his prayers worked. That is pretty potent stuff.  And he did not ask for a donation! He just wanted to let me know he had prayed for  me, all year.   Those are the years I am sure my angel decided I needed a big injection of Christ’s love.  Other years, simpler, quieter gifts; people touching in, things falling into place, messages passed down, notes of tenderness and care, reminders that I am important and loved.  From the cross, to the empty tomb, aimed right at my heart.  


This Easter week didn’t fail me.  Three phenomenal things happened...First, an act of generosity that brought me some monetary relief.  Second, a new opportunity to keep pursuing my passion.  And third, I was sent a living angel. This is the one that touched my heart, permanently.  This one came from my mom.  I got to meet her childhood friend, face to face. And as she looked at the scrapbooks of my life,  with me, she saw magic. I haven’t always viewed my life in that vein.  I liked what I saw in her eyes, and it reminded me that I am so incredibly blessed, and always have been.  My life has been an adventure, that’s for sure, and sometimes it’s seemed like a reckless joy ride. I am grateful for every bit of it though.  It’s contributed to the person I am today. I loved being witness to her apparent love for my mom;  her friend that left their hometown, but never left her heart.  

Maybe next year I WILL  give up cheese.  Well, maybe just chunk cheese, or imported cheese. Nahhhhh..... Probably better I should commit to not hitting the snooze alarm for Lent next year;  especially when it comes to my wild and wonderful life.  

WooHoo to the magic in the Easter message.  May you find it in all the ways it speaks to you through your experiences!  

WooHoo.... He is risen and so shall we!

Week Thirteen- Vulnerable and Exposed For Good - WooHoo!

That suffocating sense of being overwhelmed and stuck at the same time has begun to diminish.  There’s nothing pleasant about feeling immobilized by indecision, or fear -or allowing perfectionism to stop you in your tracks. When you're there, it's like trying to jog in quicksand.  You get tired easily and soon discover you aren't going anywhere.  As a result of all of those feelings, I found myself slipping into “the mode” again.  Hadn’t seen her in years, at least to the degree she displayed when trying to make her comeback recently.  Tough little girl. I don’t need anyone. You can’t count on anybody. Do it yourself. Don’t ever let them see you weak, cupcake.  YOU... tuck that heart and soul away... high and tight; got it?   Put on your best martyr-bitch attire because that’ll keep ‘em at bay.   Boy, I recognized her, but didn’t really much like her or want to be her, not anymore.  Although, I did sigh a little bit at those thoughts of her skinny little body  and wouldn’t mind having that back again.  Maybe not. She really didn’t value it, or herself much, at that time either. 

 I didn’t truly want to keep anyone at bay and I surely didn’t want to live thinking like that anymore.  If that was what the Universe was telling me, I intuitively knew it was time to move my own cheese.  Change something.... anything, do something different. Putting on my best sarcastic, bad-ass, who cares attitude, wasn't doing something different.  I already had lived that way quite a few years ago. 

Finally, some relief.  I got a little help from my beloved family and some great advice with the promise of more help from a few friends. THANK YOU!   Second, I  sat down, brainstormed options,  and came up with a different game plan that just might attract some better energy by heading in a new direction. Sometimes it's better to turn around and have the wind at your back rather than trying to charge right into the tornado.   I had been praying all along, but His voice wasn't discernible to me and I was getting highly frustrated. I got advice too. Some unsolicited, but, perfectly poised, with a razor sharp timing.  It always amazes me when that happens. I should know by now,  it's God using others to send His message.   I don’t know about you.  Maybe you’re one of the chosen ones.  We all know them.  Those “special people” God personally calls on, for coffee and conversation. Like Eckart Tolle or Wayne Dyer.   I can clearly see Wayne Dyer has worked hard, for years and years, on his spiritual condition, so it makes sense he’s been granted intimacy status with the Big Kahuna, but Eckart Tolle?  What did he do to gain admission to God’s private quarters?  A suicidal meltdown and then, voila in a millisecond he gets enlightenment and hears the voice?  Why did he rate?   My sarcasm monster is taking over.  It always does when I am feeling hurt.... or envious.  It's like wrestling with knowing you aren't the favored child.  Messages from God and His voice aren’t always so obvious for me. I get confused by the words I hear in my head.  Are they from God?  How come then, they really sound more like my ego, reinforcing what I want to hear?  I think my God knows this and so I won’t get  even more confused,  speaks to me predominately through other people, with a few nudges;  in nature, media, and mystical synchronicity tossed in to keep it exciting.  Sometimes you just don't see them and a coffee klatch with Him would be the easier softer way. That's what I was hoping for. 

I’ve learned to watch what you pray for, and what you say....   I told my girlfriend last week, “I think the message God's sending me is, until I become at peace with living here, I'm not going anywhere.” An email (in gigantic font)  from her simply said, “Paste this on your bathroom mirror. 

“The message God's sending me is, until I become at peace with living here, I'm not going anywhere!”  

Touche’. God spoke. 

 Another young friend was sympathetic to my woeful tale of how my creativity muscle had not only dried up but, atrophied and I felt about as creative as a chemistry text book these days.  She told me to write a reflection.   And, then she sent me an inspirational TED video on Oneness and Creativity.  God sent inspiration.

When conflicted about a work situation that was sadly becoming increasingly intolerable, through no fault whatsoever of the great people I get to work with everyday, another friend suggested I ask for a different arrangement.   God advised. 

The increasing pressures of a decaying older house, limited funds, and an inability to take care of some of things I thought were needed to change my living arrangements, has been simply overwhelming and consuming me.  Finally sharing those fears  brought forth a surprising number of friends who offered up their feedback, talents and time to help me present the white elephant in a better light.  They also reassured me that sometimes, it’s okay to walk away from things when we have tried our best, to no avail. To walk away does not mean I am a failure.  It simply means I know when to let it go.  God reassured. 

All these  personal issues, left untold, unshared and festering in my mind, weren’t getting resolved  cloistered up inside my Warrior apparel raging at the unfairness of life’s processes.   I was blocking my own creativity and solutions.  Praying for answers and then expecting them to arise from a mind that is shut off from Light is relatively useless.  I do need others.  I don’t want to wear the breast plate and headdress anymore and wave my sword madly at the issues and disappointments life hands every one of us from time to time.   I am beginning to see the obstacles are in my path, so that I learn how to pay attention to His voice in Its many forms.   I think that's how I am to grow my spiritual life and intimacy with my God.  By being vulnerable, asking, and expecting to receive.  

This was a better week.  I shared and I listened.  That’s what relationship is about, anyhow, back and forth, give and take, whether it’s with our God, or with his messengers.   

I’m ready for something new.  I am ready for a change.  I AM  getting more comfortable living here, right where I am, for today, in this house, town, State and most of all in this body.  It feels better with the brick walls and the defenses stripped away.  Exposed, soft and vulnerable.  Soft doesn’t mean without courage.   Just the opposite.  Soft means pliable, flexible and able to bend and withstand without breaking.   Vulnerable and beautifully naked, like a baby, forever growing and learning.  

On a much lighter note, speaking of naked... A little update on my fitness endeavors of the past several months.  I have a waistline again!  When I saw my shadow on the sidewalk the other day, it looked like this )   ( rather than this (      )!   An exercise in self-love yesterday was stripping down pre-shower and through one squinted eye,  I  reviewed my backside, gazing into the hand mirror which was directed at the mirror on the wall.  While certainly not the fairest of them all, it still was a Wow!  As both eyes popped open wide in delight, I thought,  not bad at all... for an old broad who sits on that big muscle a good part of the day!  Then, I made the mistake of turning around face forward and Yowled! (a combination of a howl and a yelp)  Yep, the fupa around my middle is still there, much smaller and better.  I can actually suck it in now which means there are SOME muscles hiding underneath. I am attributing the improvement to  my "Moves by Jagger"  Zumba Class, and Spinning across the moon recently.  But, for now,  backing out of a room will showcase my best side.     


Maybe it's  time to kick in some Pilates or consistent Yoga practice, buy myself a fresh new Yoga DVD and focus on the front side too.  So, I got on Amazon and guess what I found?  I’m not sure I’m completely ready for this yet. Being vulnerable feels great and this truly would be an exercise in  stripping oneself bare.... 

Nahhhhhh..... baby steps, baby steps!  Woohoo to exposing it emotionally and spiritually anyhow.  I have permanently buried an older version of me this week, and turned a massive corner.