I’ve re- started religiously meditating every morning. I’ve always engaged in a spiritual practice of sorts, every day, praying and reading meaningful, thought-provoking literature. Some days, I considered that meditation. I've come to know, Prayer, Study, and Meditation are not the same thing. They are all three different... and important to me. These days, I keep them separate, but they are all a part of my morning ritual. Prayer is done before my feet hit the floor and that’s my turn to talk to God, thanking Him and asking him for guidance. Meditation comes post a spiritual reading of the day and a cup of coffee. Meditation is God’s turn. My part is to merely open up that channel, and breathe in space for Him to enter. Some days, I feel Him. Others, its just a great discipline in teaching me to just sit, breathe.... and let everything drift by; thoughts, images, sounds, and feelings in my body. I rant about too much technology, but I have to admit, it’s been the acquisition of my smart phone awhile back that has allowed me to download a simple app that guides me through a 5,10,15 or 20 minute meditation. Sprawled comfortably in my big chair, phone in lap, I am up to 15 minutes now.
I am happy to say, I am doing so much better with it! I am learning, it’s easier to teach yourself to be the observer than to try to control it all. In the old days, I was constantly chastising my mind to not “go there” or “be quiet”. Now, I just observe the chatter, gently release it, and generally, it stops! Amazing. This diligent practice has brought me to a place where I feel so connected with everything and everyone (most of the time). It’s not an easy feeling to describe, being connected. I’ll try. To me, being connected is seeing things through a different set of eyes. When I’m meditating, I feel like I am a soul, just borrowing this body for the purpose of experiencing and engaging the senses: sight, smells, sounds. The big picture makes more sense to me and I see meaning in almost everything. My heart has become softer, gentler, kinder. Its allowed me to view myself through the eyes of this Being, the One borrowing my body, in a kinder manner; less personal criticism, just gentle guidance. That in turn has allowed me to see you (most of the time) in the same vein - not judging, knowing we are all here to learn.
Meditation has made me want to spread my arms wide in praise and reach for all the goodness just waiting for me to accept. Maybe some of it’s the sunshine and lovely days. The sky has been bluer than I’ve seen it in quite some time... huge, cotton ball cloud formations arranged onto its canvas. These are the kinds of skies I remember as a child, stretched out in the summer grass with friends, entertaining ourselves for hours, labeling the shapes and looking for signs... even back then. Look, an angel, blowing me a kiss! Is that a bunny peeking over a rock over there? Even, giggling at the plumber’s butt crack, mooning me from the heavens. Ahhh...the good old days, when creativity and entertainment came from our heads rather than electronic games. I’ve been mesmerized by the sky and the clouds this week.
One afternoon, driving into work, glancing up at the azure sky, I saw a huge bird far off to my left. It appeared to be carrying something and was approaching at a pretty good clip. A few years ago, driving with a friend, the same thing happened.... sort of.... I saw this bird out of the corner of my eye. It was a monster bird; I swear it was a pterodactyl, and clutched in its talons, was some half devoured critter. It must have just plucked it up off the highway and was trying to gain momentum in flying and carrying it away. This disgusting sight came with inches of hitting the top of my car, as the beast bird released it and flew away. It made my friend’s day - - my reaction to this horror, and he laughed for months about it.
As I watched this other bird get closer, my first thought was, what are the odds of this happening twice in a lifetime? The bird approached and was within my vision. It was not the same image of the natural world’s feeding frenzy. It was something inspiring. What appeared to be dangling beneath, was, in fact, a smaller bird. It wasn’t in the large bird’s mouth; it was flying tucked below the big bird’s wings. In perfect unison, the little bird hung close, and allowed the power and protection of the bigger bird’s wing span to help maneuver it along. In unison, the two birds moved through the sky in perfect melody. The little bird was safe and soaring so much higher than was possible without the bigger bird’s mighty current.
The little bird is me. My meditation practice allows me to connect with the omnipotence of a Source that will carry me so much farther than I could ever muster madly beating my wings against the force of the world alone. Woohoo to the continuation of connecting with the wind beneath my wings on a daily basis.
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