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| Barbie attends the Football Game- The life of a Manly-Man with three daughters.... |
One of the best young men I know turned 38 last week. My son-in-law. I’ve not written about him yet. So often we take the faithful and consistent things for granted. When he and my daughter first met, I liked him a great deal, but my husband was enamored from the first phone call. First off, he called him, “Sir” and asked him if it was okay, to call after 9 p.m. Manners, a rare trait for a young college student! I also remember the night she first met him. She woke me from a sound sleep, stars in her eyes and said, “Mom, I met a nice boy.” Those were her exact words... a nice boy. At first introduction, I knew she was right.
They dated for a few years while she was still in College. He graduated and began working in his chosen career. She was still undecided about her major, life, and what she really wanted to be when she grew up. Finally, graduation day loomed for her and a wedding was on the horizon a few months later. He became a beloved leaf on a limb of this very complicated, multi- branched, family tree of ours. Simply figuring the connections between his new wife and her many sets of grandparents, gave him an A+ in our eyes in the art of adaptability. To top it all off, he and his new bride were dealing with the illness and pending death of her beloved step-dad, his new father-in-law. Some pretty large emotional challenges for a young man entering a state of union and new living arrangements too. Dealing with the grief (his own as well) of such a profound loss, could have been overwhelming for many weaker knee’d men. Not for Scott. He stepped up, tucked his new bride under one arm and her mother under another, and comforted his, new extended family.
I had my concerns early on, in those dating years. Rather than being two peas in a pod, they seemed to be polar opposites. She loved to spend money, lots of money... He was tighter than a new pair of leather shoes. She was a drama queen. He was practical and even keel. She had huge goals for herself and their future. He was content with what he had, right in front of him. What I later came to recognize is in the things that mattered, they clicked. They both desired God be at the center of their marriage and knew how important it was to share their spiritual lives. They both couldn’t wait to be parents. They enjoyed each other’s company. They enjoyed other people’s company; their friends, and families. They both were kind, giving people; concerned about their fellow man and interested in making a difference in their little community. And when the children came, each one, I was in awe of their parenting skills, the pride they took in their girls and their desire to raise, nice, young women...together. With the things that were important, love and values, they were a match made in heaven.
From the beginning, Scott was a hands on daddy, getting up in the middle of the night, feeding, changing diapers and rocking babies back to sleep. He stuck his little girls in a little pouch that hung on the front of his body, and hauled them around the house with him, while he did his work. He bathed them, washed their hair, blew it dry and combed it. When they got older, and mommy was away for the weekend, he would devise special games; daddy and his girls time, catching lightening bugs in Mason jars, running around outside in the dark. He arranged treasure hunts, and let them somersault off the coach onto the cushions on the floor. They put the sleeping bags in the living room and had a camp out, with movies. It was their secret adventure. Shhh.... no telling mommy.
As a husband, this is a man, who leaves little notes of endearment on the computer screen, waiting to be pulled up and make his wife's day. Messages of support and love via text message, and hand written loving thoughts, treasures to be pulled up on those rainy days all relationships have. He gives massages, (even feet) and has the wine and warm baths ready. He encourages her to be the best she can be, in her business, and it’s not at all unique for him to give a sales pitch to one of his own co-workers, or clients tooting her horn loudly and drumming up some future business for her!
At work, his patients know the names of his children, the things they like, and their unique little personalities. Frequently my daughter will encounter one of his patients only to have them ask how Sydney’s dance routine is coming, or if Alex still is begging for a phone for her birthday. He’s proud of his family and it’s reflected in every area of his life. This in no way diminishes his professionalism or popularity as a therapist. I swear he has treated every member of our small community, and the first words out of everyone’s mouth when they find out, I am his mother-in-law, is, “ Scott's a a great guy, I just love him.” He is the celebrity therapist locally.
Some of his best qualities are his sense of fairness, integrity in all his dealings, honesty (sometimes painfully so), his love of family: all the way down to his cousins, his ability to not take ANYTHING personal and his acceptance of life on life’s terms. He is happy where he is, never restless, always willing to lend a hand to a friend and neighbor. His love for God, his wife and little girls shines brightly. And, his patience living in a household of four females, borders on award winning. This is a true manly man, who sits through dance recitals, little girl meltdowns, mood swings, mermaid dolls in his bathtub, and Princess band aids for everyone’s boo-boo’s. This is a man who can’t even watch his beloved football without Barbie and family stopping by to watch the game with him.
I couldn’t pick a better husband for my daughter, or father for my granddaughters. I know his qualities and expression of unconditional love are the things those little girls will look for in a future mate. I can hear it now, “He’s a nice guy, but he sure doesn’t hold a candle to my dad!”
Woo Hoo to this man who has set the bar high when it comes to the Measure of a Man for our beloved girls!
Not- How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not- what was his station? But- had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?
Was he every ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?
Not- What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But- How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth -
Of a man, as a man, regardless of birth.
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