This weekend was the annual dance recital my two younger grand-daughters participate in every year. The oldest one took dance for five years, and a few years ago decided she just didn’t want to do it anymore. As with most things she does, she did it well, but it was apparent her last year, her enjoyment had waned. It wasn’t that her technique and form wasn’t impeccable, but the delight at performing had been erased from her face. She looked miserable. She’s moved forward and trying on other interests to express her creativity. That’s what kids should be encouraged to do; experiment. So many parents live vicariously through their off-spring. While there is nothing wrong with watching your child pursue something you loved as well in your youth, it’s selfish to pound home your own lost dreams into shapes that don’t fit; taking the square peg and working the edges to fit into the circle, with your children. A bloodline doesn’t make for common interests and talents. Mommy and daddy don’t do that in this household. Oh, I am sure there is a part of daddy that hopes for an athlete out of the three, and mommy of course wants a singer, musician, performer or designer. Nonetheless, these kids are encouraged to try a variety of things, and instructed that when they do something, they give it their best shot for a good amount of time. No quitting. Then, if they still find they aren’t deriving something positive, or finding pleasure in it, they can move on. These girls have dabbled in quite a number of hobbies, sports, and arts. Sydney, my middle grandchild has discovered her niche. She is passionate about dance.
When she’s home, and has spare time, she’s dancing. Or, practicing her kicks, splits, and moves. She really dances everywhere. Even in play, her body moves in the form of a dance. For her birthday, the gift she wanted the most was a simple stretchy chord. It fits over a doorway and is a tool to practice stretching your leg muscles, so you can kick higher and be more flexible. Seriously! No toys, no games... a stretchy chord. Clearly dance is her love. She mimics the dancers on Dancing With The Stars, and practices her stage smile with every move. She really doesn’t have to work at the smile. Once her body begins to move, her cheeks burst forth and the corners of her mouth stretch wide like arms reaching out, dancing in joy. BIG SMILE! Her sassiness and delight in moving, posing, and allowing her body to simply flow into forms, is infectious. She drew everyone in at the recital. She also basks in all of the admiration and I think she derives genuine pleasure in entertaining. The attention drives her to work harder and be more creative.
I was in awe of her.... Her assurance, while on that stage, was palpable and reverberated in every tap of her little shoes. I don’t ever recall having that kind of self-confidence, especially at age nine. It was both astonishing and mesmerizing to watch.
There were a few takeaway messages as I left the recital. First, when we are doing what we love, it all comes naturally to us. It's when we are in that space, we make our most divine contribution to others. Second, there is as much, if not more, delight in watching someone you loves’ greatness evolve as there is in realizing our own dreams. It’s a healthy way of vicariously living through others. When we are watching someone else’s passion come to life, it conjures up those feelings of delight in finding our own purpose and breathes new life into our commitment to live what we love. What could possibly be better than to know so undeniably, you are doing exactly what you were created to do? That is what I saw and felt watching Miss Sydney on stage.
WooHoo to the pursuit of doing what you love and the rest will follow.
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